Thought I'd Be Better...Lol

Man, was I the only about-to-be Dad who thought he was so ready for Dad life? During Kalynn’s first pregnancy I would have these sweet visions of after the baby being born and spending all these tender nights rocking that thing to sleep while an exhausted Kalynn preciously slept by our side. I honestly anticipated being pretty willing to wake up in the middle of the night to help out in the various ways that I’d be needed. Well…am I also the only Dad who had a 10/10 expectation of himself but then a 1/10 reality..? Lol

For starters, one thing that I had yet to learn about myself was that when I am woken up in the middle of the night, which probably makes sense and therefore can’t be an excuse, is that I am already at least a 7/10 on the scale of irritability…and that’s probably being generous. I don’t know why I didn’t calculate that into those daydreams. On top of that, generally, along with the aforementioned irritated’ness of being nudged out of a lovely slumber, I also wake up a little disoriented as I’m sure many of you do as well. So basically from the jump, due to my improper calculations, I probably didn't have much of a chance of being that “super dad” of my prior daydreams. 

Pretty sure a pouty, teenagery “What…?!” while side punching a pillow was probably my most common response as I’d wake up knowing that none of the answers I was about to receive were going to be anything that I wanted. Lol On top of all of this, the other and maybe the biggest problem to this whole shabang was that I quickly came to realize that I literally had zero effect on whether this little child we created would survive or not. Any other Dad whose baby was breastfed can relate. Talk about a motivation killer… Lol 

Every time this slumber killer would cry, she generally ALWAYS needed to be fed while also probably wanting to have her diaper changed as well. Hungry…guaranteed, diaper changed…meh, probably. I emphasize this because we ALL know that there is only ONE person who can provide the sacred nectar that this guaranteed situation is going to need and it wasn’t me. HOWEVER, I was still usually woken up to either A.) provide some moral support or 2.) change the diaper.

Now, my middle of the night logic would say, 1.) requested moral support at THESE hours of the night is…well…a wild request to say the least and B.) If you, as the holder of the sacred darigold nectar that is needed, already have to be awake, then why can’t you just also change the diaper..? Why should we both have to suffer..? Though seemingly logical, yes, I am completely aware that this is absolutely not an “acceptable” route of thinking. Lol Clearly my “middle of the night logic” can’t be trusted and did not have much empathy for Kalynn and her efforts. It’s just tough to do when you know that all this screaming baby needs is the one thing that you can’t provide. And everything would be solved if Mom would just wake up and give it to them… Lol 

Anyways, suffice it to say, my early parenting days started out similarly to my ability to consistently do the dishes…not very good. Lol Luckily though I at least have gotten more opportunities to be better. And I think, and Kay might scoff at this statement, that I really improved…by baby number 3.So for all you potentially struggling papa’s out there, just know you're not the only one and it can get better if you work at it. And to all you dope papa’s out there, I salute you. Just cause we start down doesn’t mean we have to stay there. Just gotta try be 1% better than you were yesterday and build some momentum. 

Anyways, hope you guys have a good week.

PEACEEE

Life's a trip, man...

 Man, life is such a trip. When I was younger and growing up, I had a pretty short-fused temper. This wasn’t like an anytime, anyplace type of temper. As far as I can remember it generally happened only in my house and around immediate family members(I couldn’t let everyone know that I was crazy). I guess only the people closest to me were able to poke the right buttons. Anyways, as I got older, I began to realize that all my temper did was embarrass and make people afraid of me. So when I left for college I really wanted to change that aspect of myself. I mostly just hated the fact that other people could have so much control over me and my emotions.

Now I’m not sure if this just correlated with the fact that I wasn’t around immediate family members or not over the next few years, but I felt like I was really improving. I honestly eventually got to a point where I felt like I had turned my quick tempered weakness into a calm mannered strength. I mean there were still times where I got hot, but it was very few and far between and only around my closest friends I would say.

Fast forward to marriage and I have been seriously exposed. If I ever had the thought that I had conquered the anger beast inside, I was very wrong. Lol Turns out, much like most things I’ve learned in life, it’s a never ending battle. I just never realized I still had so many triggers until I allowed someone so closely into my life. And this is coming from someone who went on an LDS mission and couldn’t leave the sight of another person for 2 straight years. Marriage is a unique playing field of endless opportunities for personal growth if you’re willing to see it that way. And hopefully each side is patient enough to allow the other to work through these opportunities; not always easy… ask my wifey. :) 

And then, just when you start to think, “Wow, I think I’m really beginning to get the hang of this whole marriage thing..,” BOOM! You have a child…or 2…or 3… Talk about a trigger overload and a trip right back to the starting line of improving those weaknesses we thought we had once again corralled. 

Life’s a trip, man. But it’s great. Endless opportunities for growth as long as we’re willing to see and approach it that way. Just when we think we’ve got it figured out, another curveball is coming to push us out of our comfort zone. Depending on your belief in a higher power, I think it’s pretty cool that there’s something or someone out there that cares enough about us to make life’s journey an endless road to self-improvement for each of us. Anytime we’re conquering life’s battles, even as “mundane” as marriage and kids, we’re simultaneously conquering our inner beasts as well. Pretty cool.

Anyways, hope your all doing great and have a dope weekend.

PEACEEE

My "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell Review

So I’d had this book recommended to me multiple times over the last few years. I knew it was partially something that I would be interested in because I had already read a couple of Malcolm Gladwell's books and they were always very thought provoking for me. One of the reasons that I hadn’t yet read it is I’d had the book described to me as “explaining how people become super successful with statistics to back it up. Like what month they were born, etc.” So in my mind, thinking, “well, what if I just learn that I don’t fall within the parameters of people destined for uber success?,” I was a little scared to pick it up.

Long story long, I decided to listen to it. And let me tell you, it was extremely interesting and thought provoking for me. Gladwell basically debunks the fact that there are self-made success stories and that those who achieve “greatness” were blessed with very specific circumstances and opportunities that no one else had that basically propelled/allowed them to be in the situations that they were in. Generally, a prerequisite to success is to be hardworking, disciplined, etc., but on top of that, the “Bill Gates” of the world were also blessed with extremely “lucky” happenstances that were completely unearned by them specifically leading them down their paths of “outlier’ness.”

Great and thought provoking read. Multiple times as I was listening to the book, I had to pause it in order to wrap my brain around what he was saying. You’ll learn how culture, race, and other circumstances of history potentially still seem very relevant with many of the happenings in today’s world. 

Going back to my original fear... If anything it allows me to be more at ease in terms my own path towards "greatness." We see a lot of these people that we deem great and believe at times that simply hard work and dedication will get us to where they are. So begin to work hard and dedicate yet we don't seem to be reaching anywhere near the stratospheres that they're in. Well, some of us just haven't been in "the right place at the right time" to necessarily reach the things that these people have; and that's okay. All we can do is replicate the habits of these greats and then let the cards unfold as they will.

I'll give Outliers an 8/10 

Whatchu Doing With Your 24 Hours?

 Just wanted to get on and wish you all a happy fridayyyyyy. Hope you guys kicked this week's azz. We all only get 24 hours in each day. They say that we are what we repeatedly do each day. Obviously there'll be some variations here and there to what we do, but I think it’s fairly safe to say that most of our days generally go the same and we have a lot of control over them. With that being said, what are you choosing to do each day? What is it that you’re wanting to be? Because apparently all it takes to become/achieve who/what we want is to simply do it each day. 

Each 24 hours is like a microcosm of our lives; whatever you’re choosing to do in that time is basically what you’re saying is the most important to you. However, I’d be willing to bet that if most of us looked at our lives a little more closely, there would definitely be some things we’d change in terms of importance and priority with what's currently happening on our day to day basis. 

Like Remy says in the movie Ratatouille, “If we are what we eat then I only want to eat the good stuff.” In terms of who you want to be, what’s your “good stuff?” If we want to become who we want to become then we simply just need to be more deliberate with each 24 hours. What’s important enough for you to make sure gets penciled into your schedule each day? It’ll probably take some trial and error but eventually, with some effort, I’m sure you’ll end up with much more efficient days. Then all there is to do is repeat this over a decent period of time and watch the magic happen. 

Show some discipline, build a little momentum, and become who you’ve always wanted. 

Anyways, hope you're all doing well and this weekend feels super long for you.

PEACEEE

Losing My Mind Trying To Teach Savannah The Alphabet

So when we first moved to Moses Lake and Kalynn started going to work, it was just the girls and I at home. So feeling all driven I decided we were going to be SO educational and the girls, specifically Savannah atm, were going to learn SO much. Anyways, first we started with colors and Savannah was killing those. We got one of those foam alphabets, I would scatter them around the room and then we began with her simply separating them all into each individual color. She didn’t know the names of the colors to start but just knew which ones looked like the others. 

The next step was after she would separate them, we would go around to each pile and name each of their colors. She started picking this up pretty fast and I was kind of encouraged thinking my teaching methods must be pretty darn good. Lol Eventually it got to the point where after she would separate all the letters, I would say a color and then she would either point to it or walk to it; she had them down pretty well. Then just to reinforce, whenever we were at the store or random places I would point to different objects and she would tell me what color it was. Again, she was killing it. 

So I assumed/hoped that learning letters would be a somewhat similar experience. To start she had a hard time picking up the individual letters but she would say “A for apple, A for Barbie, A for Cat, A for Dog, A for Eagle and Elephant, A for Frog…” That’s about as far as we went into the alphabet to that point wanting her to pick up those letters first before moving on. So in my mind I'm thinking, “Okay, so she is definitely intelligent enough to recognize the shape of each letter and remember which animal it was attached to. So now how do I get her to remember the actual letter?” 

So that went on periodically for days, maybe a few weeks. Anyways, one day I thought to myself, “you’re going to learn these freakin letters.” You know, basically the preceding thought to all greatness. Lol So I obviously came in with some great energy… Side note as well, I had been having her watch some different YouTube shows that would sing alphabet and number songs, etc., just so she could get her reps. 

So this particular day my goal was to get her to simply advance to the letter B; that was ALL I wanted. So we go over it for a few minutes and she just isn't getting it and my frustration is building. I’m mostly just super confused at how she can have the ability to associate the letter E with not just one animal, elephant, but also a second one, eagle, and STILL not remember that it’s the letter E..? Lol 

So we keep going and my frustration is really kind of boiling over at this point. And I could tell she was reading my body language and energy well and was trying so hard to give me the answer that she thought I “wanted.”  And obviously that wasn’t what I wanted either but my patience was getting pretty thin and in that moment I was just too prideful to throw in the towel and come back to it another day. Each “wrong” answer led to my voice levels rising and her body surely tensing up more and more. You know, all ingredients for a solid learning experience… 

Anyways, after going over B repeatedly for like 10 minutes, we come back to it and I ask, “Okay Bub, we’ve been going over this one a lot today, can you remember what it is?” And she looks at me all determined and says “X..?” And I lose my sh*t because 1, she deliberately disregards us going over B for the duration of time that we did, and 2, we haven’t even gone over X?! So basically Savannah and I haven’t really tried letters since that day. Lol I assume she’ll learn them pretty easily when she’s ready, much like the potty training experience.

Moral of this story…I think at times we probably all struggle at parenting even when we have the best intentions. A lot of you might be thinking, “Bro, it’s just the alphabet. Chill out.” And I totally agree with you. There was no reason for me to bring in the bad energy that I did. Our kids are who they are and we need to celebrate that. They’ll learn and progress when they find things important enough to do so. Just when we think we have some of this parenting stuff figured out, something else kicks us to our knees. Just gotta be resilient and keep trying. 

Anyways, hope you’re all kicking life’s a$$.

PEACEEEEE

My Laughable Costco Membership Photo Experience

 A couple years ago it was time…we were going to sign up for the coveted Costco membership. So we walked up to the info desk to get it all set up and eventually they asked me to “go stand in front of that blue board” that was on the wall to get my photo taken. So I walked over there, and being an exact instruction follower in this moment, I stood right in front of the blue board.

As I stood there, my nose maybe about 2 inches from the blue board, I began to wonder what the purpose of this was. After much too long of a moment, I turned to look at Kalynn to question why they would ask me to do this. She proceeded to look back at me with a fairly perplexed look. The “wait…are you being serious..?” type of look. Lol Obviously, my brain now racing a little bit, I look back at her now even more confused wondering why she would be looking at me that way.

I quickly began to look around a little bit to see if I could solve this deep mystery that I now found myself engaged in. It seemed as if all at once the answer came. Though I was in fact standing as directly in front of “that blue board” as I possibly could, it was then I realized that the camera I was to be flashing these pearly whites at, was in fact behind me… I had stood in the right place, just not facing the right direction…

I immediately locked eyes with Kalynn, realizing my mistake, and we began to have a great laugh about the situation. She could not believe that that was how I interpreted the instructions and stood in front of the “blue board.” Obviously, after replaying the events in my head, I couldn’t really believe it either. Lol 

Moral of the story; try not to take yourself too seriously. Maybe I could have been given clearer instructions or maybe I could have just been a normal person and stood the right way. Lol Regardless, the more you’re able to laugh at yourself and the silly things you do, the happier and less stressed I presume you’ll be. 

Anyways, have a good one, y’all.

PEACEEE 

"Do you want to keep the placenta?"

 I apologize from the jump if my ignorance in this story is somehow offensive in any way. This was just my personal experience. 

Excitedly, we walked through the automatic sliding doors of the birthing center knowing our first baby was about to be born in the next few hours. It was a fairly relaxed check-in because we had scheduled an appointment to get induced. Kalynn’s water hadn’t broke or anything and nothing else was really spiking the blood pressure up to that point. As we’re checking in and the nurses are going through a little check-list with us, they asked, “do you guys want to keep the placenta?” Full disclosure, up until just reading into it right now, I didn’t really fully know what the placenta even was. Just knew it was something up in the female business that has something to do with the baby process.

My response, with probably a fairly grossed out/perplexed look was, “for what? Do people put them in like jars and then put them on their trophy case or something?” Lol Honestly thinking only about those evil scientist cartoons/movies where they have different body parts or whatever in jars on shelves. Lol I literally had zero preparation for this question or any idea of what one would possibly want to do with a placenta and why they would want to keep it. I’m fairly sure all of this was being clearly expressed by my body language and responses.

The nurse, seemingly amused by my reaction and silly question, shrugged her shoulders and responded with, “sometimes people like to eat it. I’ve heard of people putting them in smoothies or eating it in other ways.” Wide eyed and a little shocked, having not had this option anywhere even near the realm of possibilities of why someone would keep the placenta, I asked, “Why..?!” Lol Of course, they then explained the health benefits of it and also that some people do it for more natural and/or spiritual types of reasons. It was finally starting to make a little sense.

Nevertheless, selfishly and completely locked into my own thoughts at this point, without even thinking of consulting Kalynn, I responded with a sharp, “Uhhhh, no I think we're good.” Lol It was at this moment that I somehow came to and remembered that I wasn’t the only person on the planet and looked over to Kalynn to see what she wanted to do(as if she’s more connected and important to this whole “birthing/placenta process” than I am…(-; ). 

Anyways, long story long, we ended up deciding not to keep the placenta. I look back at this experience though and can’t help but just chuckle a little bit. Just another probably very normal and understood life question/process(of keeping the placenta) completely taking me off guard. I guess the moral of the story is to never be too afraid to ask questions..? I mean, look how much knowledge I now have. Lol

Hope everyone is doing great. 

PEACEEEE